Let us make a simple review of heartfelt feelings and situation of the party attacked. In the case, the husband was playing games and suddenly received his wife’s attacks and a request for his alteration, which made him experience a sense of deprivation, fear and the victimhood in an instant, and then the husband counter-attacked his wife with a request to make the wife change. This is the normal process of life in which the attacked party fights back against the other, and this process is the result of the attacked party being manipulated by the sub-consciousness and living in the conviction mode.
If you are the husband in this case, how do you deal with this incident and break away from the control of the sub-consciousness? First of all, vigilance, which means if you can suddenly realize that you are being manipulated by your sub-consciousness, and again taking an image in front of you and a dream as real when you are having an argument with your wife, you can stop thinking according to the manipulation of the sub-consciousness, and practice the thinking of true forgiveness and giving innocence; you should think like this, “My wife that attacked me is an image made by my sub-consciousness. She is just a role in my dream and her attack is an event in my dream, so I won’t hate this illusory image. The true nature of my wife is a spirit in heaven, within the same God with me. She is pure and innocent, and she and I have never left the kingdom of God”. When you practice like this, your wife and you will be a peaceful miracle mind.
Then, you should continue to practice the thinking mode of letting go demands: “1. my wife’s asking me to stop playing games is just to remind me that I am taking serious the satisfaction that playing games brings, which means that my addiction for playing games represents a kind of deficiency. So I am going to give up playing games and forgive the sense of deficiency. 2. If I need a wife who will let me play games, my sense of deficiency will become real, so I will not ask my wife to change into someone who will let me play games”. When you think like this and stop playing games, the sense of deficiency in your heart will disappear.
Finally, you should practice entrusting the fear to dissolve it: “if in the future my wife meddles with me every day and doesn’t let me do some things in the future, I will accept it, I will accept it. Because all circumstances in the future do not really exist, I will always choose to forgive and give up some of my demands”. After you have entrusted like that, your fear of becoming a hen-pecked husband will disappear.
But this time because you are the party attacked and requested, when you complete the above practice and become the miracle mind, the peace inside you will be extended to your wife, then the peace will bring this perception to your wife: “my husband really has changed, he doesn’t care to play games, and it seems that playing games do not mean anything to him. I worried too much”. Up to now, your wife’s fear of your becoming addicted to the Internet will be replaced by this perception of peace. Your wife will not continue to attack you. Moreover, in the future, your wife will be unlikely to stop you from playing games, and then you can continue to play your games without being bound by the games. This is what a peaceful situation that a miracle mind can brings you.
However, in this case, the wife’s another request was involved, that she wished her husband to accompany her, and at this time the husband was in a more complicated situation. Simply speaking, the situation was: as the attacked party, when others attack you, you will be asked to let go of something yet do something else. How do you respond to such a situation? This is the key point of this part. I will extend the example of the quarrel between the young couple to explain.
There was a family of two people, and the husband and wife was both salary worker. One day, the husband got infatuated with online games. He played games after coming home every day. This made his wife upset. Then after a few days, this wife could no longer bear it, and scolded his husband when he was playing games: “you just play games every day and ignore me; you just go to live with the person in the game if you continue playing it! Turn it off now!” When the husband heard this, he got angry and answered, “What’s wrong with me playing games after work? Leave me alone and don’t make troubles”. Then, the wife was got madder and said, “How long has it been since you went shopping with me? You now accompany me to go shopping. If you go on playing, I will smash the computer.” Then the husband continued to fight back, “Ok, smash it. I will not go”. So the young couple began to quarrel with each other. It was finished.
To begin with, two points of the case will be analyzed:
1. The wife in the case took some aggressive actions because of long-term sense of deprivation and fear. And her intention was clear that she wanted her husband to give up playing games and accompany her to the mall. Only in this way could the deficiency within her be made up. So basically speaking, her attack was just a hope that her husband can help her make up her deficiency, and her request was just a sincere voice for help.
2. The husband in the case also understood in the quarrel process that the purpose of his wife’s attack was the hope that he could accompany his wife to go to the mall. His situation then became the more complex situation just described: as an attacked party, someone will tell you to let go of one thing while asking you to do something else. But for this husband, why did he experience this situation of being attacked and requested while playing the computer alone?
This is because people did many things to convict others for the sense of deprivation and fear and ask them to change in the past (sometimes across reincarnations) (the analysis of the first point). And the essence of these things is to ask others to make up for his deficiency. This is the habitual pattern of the thought system that “takes the world as real” to eliminate deficiency. However, this pattern won’t dissolve any deficiency, because this mode and the “expelling and owning of sins” share the same mechanism: when you regard your sense of deprivation as real and ask others to make up for it, this sense of deprivation has already been driven out from you; at that time, the sense of deprivation will be retained within your sub-consciousness (whether the deficiency will be made up or not). This sense of deprivation then will bide time to be manifested into a convicted and requested situation for you to experience. This is the law of the working of deficiency in the world. This was also the reason that the husband in this case went through such a situation. Therefore, for this husband, the deficiency of his wife was just a former deficiency in his sub-consciousness, and the situation he was attacked and requested was just the scene of life manifested by this former deficiency.
So, if you are the husband in this case, you need to practice the thinking of true forgiveness, giving innocence, letting go of demands and entrustment, and also practice the thinking of satisfying someone’s genuine demands to overcome this previous sense of deprivation. This kind of mental practice firstly requires your reverse thinking: if you do not satisfy your wife’s sincere request for help, what will be the situation:
(1) If I don’t want to spend illusory time and illusory energy to accompany my wife to go shopping, it proves that these illusory things still have some meaning for me.
(2) If I resist the occurrence of the shopping situation, it will prove that I have decided that going shopping with my wife will make me a kind of victim.
(3) If I think my wife’s asking for help is wrong, I will probably convict my wife.
(4) My wife’s sincere demand for my help is just a manifestation of a previous sense of deprivation in my sub-consciousness, so if I don’t respond to her request for help, the previous deficiency will be shelved in my sub-consciousness, then the deficiency will still wait to be manifested into another situation for me to experience.
When you have done all the above converse thinking, the result is clear: if you don’t respond to your wife’s demand, you are more likely to be lost in dream and be manipulated by your sub-consciousness. So when you face genuine call for help from others, you can use the following positive thinking:
(1) I will put illusory time and illusory energy to satisfy my wife’s sense of deficiency, because such actions indicate that I will not give any significance to these illusory objects.
(2) I don’t think shopping with my wife will make me a victim, because I haven’t left the kingdom of God and the victim does not exist.
(3) My wife is only a spirit in the kingdom of God, so she is innocent and free from deficiency.
(4) My wife’s sincere request for help is just a manifestation of a previous deficiency in my sub-consciousness, so I am willing to experience and accept this illusory situation (shopping with my wife) to dissolve that previous deficiency.
When you have practiced these thoughts and taken action, you and your wife will be firmly united in a peaceful miracle mind. Because you were the party that was asked for help, your inner peace could extend to the heart of your wife after you answered the wife. And that peace would give your wife the feeling, “my husband won’t ignore me. It is useless worrying. I am so happy.” At this time, your wife’s deficiency will disappear, and this sense of deficiency will also be out of your sub-consciousness.
This is what I am talking about in this part: the thinking patter to satisfy needs (to satisfy others’ genuine request of help). This thinking pattern also applies to the situation in which someone asks you to do something without attacking you. The connotation of such thinking pattern is: you need to use “action” to satisfy others’ genuine request for help. And you should understand that these “actions” are illusory before you “act”, so that you can “act” willingly. This is the main way to dissolve the previous deficiency in the sub-consciousness.
Certainly, a beginner is not required to fulfill the thinking pattern of satisfying others’ genuine request for help, because the specific things that happen in life can sometimes be quite complicated. So the beginner is not immediately able to distinguish which requests are the manifestation of previous deficiency, which ones are not, and the beginner is not suddenly able to recognize the attack and request of others is only a voice for help. So, as a beginner, you can start with the little things you can do in life, and then as the practice goes on, you will find more and more important and accurate methods to respond to people’s genuine requests for help. This is also the normal process of practicing this thinking pattern. You shall bear in mind that everyone’s sincere request for help to you is for your release from sufferings. So the hand you lend others seems to help others, but in essence, it helps yourself.
One last question you might ask is, “if I satisfy all the genuine help from others, I will lose a lot of things, including my time, energy, and money, etc. What can I gain after losing these things?” The answer is also a peaceful situation. Here is a real case of my own about what a peaceful situation is like after meeting other’s sincere call for help and achieving miracle mind. In this way you can fully appreciate the benefits of these thought patterns for you.
First of all, I will list the characters: I, my wife, my one-and-a-half-year-old daughter, my mother-in-law, and a friend of mine: a doctor of traditional Chinese medicine.
Date: March 2014
Relationship: the adults in my family will go to see the doctor of traditional Chinese medicine if they are sick.
Then I will introduce one little incident before the event: a few days before my acquiring the peaceful situation, my wife had a small disease, and then she went to see the doctor of traditional Chinese medicine; then, the doctor of traditional Chinese medicine prescribed medicines (the prescription has more than 10 kinds of the Chinese herbal medicine), but when my wife went to the pharmacy store to buy those medicines, the pharmacist said there were two Chinese herbal medicines out of stock, so the prescription was not completed, so that my wife did not take this set of traditional Chinese medicine.
I will start telling the whole event: one day in March 2014, I came back home from work at 5:30 p.m. and started dinner while my child was sleeping. (My child had a meal earlier that day, and it was probably over 4 o’clock. They ate noodles. After that, the child went to bed.) That’s when it started. During my dinner, my mother-in-law told me that she wanted to see the doctor because she had been suffering from a cold and had an upset stomach. I said ok and I would drive you to the doctor in a minute. Then I said to my wife, “Stay at home and care the baby. She has not woken up.” However, when my wife heard this, she told me that she was going with us, and taking child.
When I heard this, I started to resist it, because I thought so in my heart. The weather was very cold (It is very cold in March in Tianjin), and it took 40 minutes to drive to the doctor’s home, so I thought it was very inconvenient to take the child with us, and it might cause the child to be frozen with illness. So when I finished my evaluation, I said to my wife, “the baby hasn’t woken up yet. If she wakes up, we cannot take her. How do we do if the baby is frozen with illness?” But my wife didn’t take my advice at all. She said she could wake up the baby now and took her with us. My wife thought there was no fun for her to be at home with the kid, so she wanted to take her for some fun. As a result of our disagreement, my wife and I began to quarrel.
Then, my mother-in-law saw us arguing and said, “I’m not going. I stay at home to care the child”. My mother-in-law meant that my wife and I went to the doctor and got a prescription from the doctor so we could avoid quarrel. But even with my mother-in-law’s compromise, my wife still refused, and insisted in taking the baby with her.
In the process of the stalemate, I went vigilant, and then I began to practice all the thinking patterns shown in this part. First of all, I forgave my family members and gave them innocence. Then I practiced the act of letting go my own demand, that is, I demanded a wife who could obey my arrangement. Then I practiced my thinking to meet the needs of others. I knew that my wife really turned to me for help because of deficiency, so I should meet her need. Finally, I entrusted two fears: 1. I accepted the situation that the child might be frozen, and thought it would be ok to just put on more clothes on the child. 2. I told myself that if my wife kept asking me for help capriciously like that in the future, I would also accept it, since none of the future situations were real, so I would always choose to satisfy her request for help and take action.
When I finished practicing the above thought patterns, I agreed on the wife’s request. And then, my wife was happy and awakened the kid, and waited for the kid for 20 minutes; after 20 minutes, the kid was fully awake, and we set off together.
Just as I was driving along, I repeated all the thoughts I had just practiced as long as I felt mood of resistance, so that I kept my mind in the peaceful miracle mind all the way. (I was repeatedly resistant because I had just learned the theories about answering people’s request for help and getting peaceful situations, and it was the first time I had put these theories into practice, so my practice was a little unstable.)
The affair went on. When we got to the doctor’s house, the doctor diagnosed my mother-in-law’s illness, and then prescribed a prescription. Now that the affair was over, and we could leave after we got the prescription. But this was just the beginning of things. After the doctor finished the diagnose for my mother-in-law, he began to tease my child, but during the process of teasing the child, the doctor found the problem, and then the doctor looked at the child’s fingers (traditional Chinese doctor pediatrics diagnosis sometimes depends on the situation of children’s fingers), and said to us, “your child ate too much and suffers indigestion, and now she has caught a fever”. Only then did we find out that the child was really feverish, and her face was very hot and red. Then the doctor asked us what we fed the child these days. Did she eat much? We answered that all the food was noodles, and the child had eaten a lot every day since a few days ago. When the doctor heard this, he told us, “now, a child who is one and a half years does not know what is full and what is hungry. That is to say, even if the child is full, you continue to feed him and she will still eat. So your child has indigestion and is having a fever”. (My family and I had no idea that the child who was a year and a half old couldn’t distinguish from hunger and fullness, and adults loved the child, when that kid ate more than she could, we as adults would not stop it and were happy instead.)
Then, the doctor told me to go to a nearby pharmacy store to buy a medicine for child’s indigestion. I went there at once, and I got the baby’s medicine as soon as I got to the pharmacy. But when I bought the medicine, I found that this pharmacy store also sold Chinese herbal medicine, and I thought that my wife still needed two kinds of Chinese herbal medicine, so incidentally I asked the pharmacist whether they had those two kinds of Chinese herbal medicine. The pharmacist said yes, and I bought it as soon as I heard it. Then I went back to the doctor’s house with the medicines.
After I came back to the doctor’s house, the doctor immediately fed the child the medicine, but this medicine was bitter for the child, the child was choked by the bitter taste and coughed when she had taken half of the medicine; then the child started to vomit and vomited out all the food in the stomach. The doctor was glad to see the child vomit and said to us, “the child will be much better if she vomits the food out”. Then the child started to cry again because of vomiting. With the crying, the child started to vomit again. This time, the child vomited out a kind of transparent mucus. The doctor was even more pleased when he saw it, and said to us, “When the child has vomitted out this transparent mucus, the child has recovered and the fever will be gone in a few minutes. Because the child’s indigestion will cause stomach fire, fire will produce sputum, sputum will accumulate in the lungs and form inflammation, which is the cause of your child’s fever, but your child has already vomitted out food and sputum, so she will not have internal heat and inflammation, and she does not need to take medicine”. Sure enough, after another hour, my child’s fever was gone. At last, the doctor told us not to feed the baby too much at dinner, so we thanked the doctor and drove home.
However, as I was driving home, I suddenly realized that the consequence of taking my child to the doctor’s house was too much of a surprise. Because before we left, none of us knew that the child had indigestion. It was then that I realized the peaceful situation and ending brought by the miracle mind was everybody’s happiness. Firstly, my child’s illness was diagnosed inexplicably and cured quickly. Secondly, I learned not to feed the kid too much, which saved me a lot of troubles in the future. Thirdly, my mother-in-law went to see doctor on her own so that she would not be misdiagnosed. Fourthly, my wife’s two flavours of medicine lacked were also got. Fifthly, my family and child escaped the adversity of going to the hospital at night. (Especially the fifth one is quite impressive for me. If my child had a high fever at night, my family and I would take her to the emergency department of Tianjin children’s hospital, but the children’s hospital in our city was full at night. That is to say, even if we got to the hospital, we also needed to queue up for several hours to see the doctor, and taking the child to see the doctor entails at least 2 to 3 adults to accompany the child, because queuing is needed for registration, test, infusion for reducing the fever. So for people in our city, it is a real pain to bring the kids to emergency treatment at night. And most critically, doctors in the hospital may not be able to diagnose a fever caused by indigestion. The following troubles are evident.) When I thought about this, I realized the benefits I had gained and what adversity I had avoided. On the way home, I marveled at the incredibility of these modes of thinking and the peaceful miracle mind; at the same time, I have completely trusted them.
The above is a true case of myself, and this case illustrates a passage in this part: the miracle mind will manifest a new situation of peace to for you to experience, and this new peaceful situation will directly replace a situation that the sub-consciousness has already designed for you. To specify, when you practice this new thought system and get a miracle mind during the process of experiencing a certain life scene, this state of mind will immediately or gradually manifest a new peaceful situation for you to experience, and at the same time, the adversity that your sub-consciousness has already designed for you will disappear immediately or gradually. Then your destiny has been changed. And when you have experienced this peaceful situation, you will not only be deeply aware that you have avoided some adversity, but also be surprised that this peaceful situation brings you such a happy and unexpected ending, which alone can be called a miracle.
There is a Chinese saying that‘misfortune may be an actual blessing’. This proverb answers the question you may be asking, and the meaning of this proverb more or less represents the meaning of a miracle mind and a peaceful situation. So, it is up to you to choose whether you want to practice this thinking pattern that will enable you to achieve the miracle mind and the peaceful situation.
Finally, in order to make you more clearly cognizant of the benefits of the mode of thinking presented in this part, I will give an extended illustration on the example of the quarrel between the young couple.
1. If you are the wife in this case, how can you be sure that it is not beneficial that your husband plays games. Maybe after a week, your husband will say to you, “fortunately, I played games at home every day, so I didn’t go out to drink with my friends. If I had gone, I would have suffered traffic accident with them yesterday”. When you hear these words, do you still think your husband is wrong to play games every day?
2. If you are the husband in this case, how can you be sure it is not beneficial that your wife won’t let you play games? Maybe you would meet a bunch of stupid teammates while playing games, and then you would get mad at them and go to the hospital. There are such examples in the world. Would you say it is wrong for your wife to stop you from playing games?
3. If you are the husband in the case, how can you be certain that it is wrong for your wife to ask you to go shopping with her? If you did not go shopping but to drink with friends, you might suffer traffic accident with friends.
Therefore, there is a saying in the world, “if I knew it, I would listen to you”. Or, to put it another way: “there is no use regretting”. How profound these two sentences are.
Certainly, as a narrator I am not threatening you with all of these, but I am just trying to tell you that people have no evaluative ability (except in the fields of work and law), because things that you now consider right may turn out to be wrong over time, while things that you now consider wrong may turn out to be right over time. There are also things that you have judged differently for several times over time. So, the evaluation of people’s mind is very unstable, and this evaluation is only an illusion of the mind when you take the world as real, which doesn’t harness your life, nor change your life, because it would only continually fluctuate with the vicissitudes of your life develop and constantly change. Thus, people’s evaluative ability is impossible to enable you to achieve the true peace and happiness.
So far, please have a thorough review of your own course of life, and you can think over whether your experiences through self-assertion and subjective evaluation have brought you true peace and happiness. If the answer is no, you can now choose to practice the new thought system by yourself, because this is the only thought system that will enable you to achieve true peace and happiness. And the real case I am telling you aims to show you that once you have practiced that thought system and let go of self-assertion and subjective evaluation, your life won’t get out of control. In addition, you will get the best peaceful ending.
At the end of this part, I will narrate a few matters needing attention to practice satisfying needs, since many situations in the world do not require you to apply the practice of satisfying needs that is discussed in this part.
1. As for people you don’t know, if he puts forward request beyond the scope of law, such as fraud or robbing your property, and so on, you can directly use the law of the country where you are to deal with it, especially when you face personal attack, you shall protect your body from harm as far as possible; if you can subdue him, just do it; if you can’t, just manage to run away, and you shall turn to legal means in the last resort. Because the body is your main means for learning your last lesson in life. Don’t give it up easily.
2. Sometimes people you do not know ask you for help within the scope of the law. As the saying goes, they need your help for a just cause or for their welfare. But there is a rare situation in this category, that is, they might frame up you after getting your help, which can be simplified as ‘blackmailing’. So when that happens, you can first think about it: whether the case laws or the guiding cases or the rules of custom of your country can protect your well-meant actions and severely punish those possible blackmails. After you think about it, you can make your own choices. Because the world is so complex, and laws and enforcement vary from country to country, then sometimes your good intentions are not enough.
3. People you know ask you to do things that don’t accord with the rules of the law. You needn’t do it. For example, if someone you know has been hurt by someone, and he asks you to retaliate against that person, you can persuade him to use legal weapons first.
4. As for friends and relatives other than your immediate family members, if they ask you for help, for example, they need you to do something, or they want to borrow money from you, you can consult with your immediate family members, especially your spouse, and then take actions. Because the world is a collective body of family units, so interpersonal relationships of immediate family members are more important than other ones.
5. If people you know ask you to hate and attack others, you can say no. Because the requirement is that you convict someone else. If this happens in your life, you can either brush it off or laugh it off. For example, when my wife badmouths another person in front of me, she wants me to think in the same way, and wants me to convict that person, too. At this time, I could say something like this in addition to slighting it over: “if I hate a person, I can find a reason to hate them from all people. So, I don’t hate anybody including you”. That has basically terminated the end of my wife’s request. Over time, my wife will give it up.
6. The work category of the world，each has his own duty. Mutual help in the working category is the norm. It doesn’t matter whether you apply the practice of satisfying needs.
7. If you are an adult and unemployed person, and your immediate family members want you to have a worldly job, then you may meet their needs, because this call for help is the manifestation of the previous deficiency in your sub-consciousness. But if you have already got a job in the world and your immediate family members want you to change the job, you may ignore their demands. Because it’s your freedom to choose what you do and it’s your business, since you have the right to make the final decision in this matter. Simply speaking, the notice of this point is: If you don’t have a job and your family wants you to look for one, you shall go look for one, but whatever you do is up to you.
8. When two people in your interpersonal relationship disagree and you are the final performer, or you are in the disagreement, you can wait for their unified opinion before acting. For specific correspondence for this situation, you can refer to the required reading “Function of the Holy Spirit and Concealment”.
9. If someone who doesn’t understand the laws of nature needs your help and does something against the laws of nature, you can ignore his demands. For example, if a naive child asks you to put his hand in the hot pot, you should not listen to him. This category is basically targeted at children who have not learned the objective laws of human life.
The core content of this new thought system is the combined application of true forgiveness, giving innocence, letting go of needs, entrusting and satisfying needs narrated in this part. There is only one requirement for the combined use of these thoughts, that is, to lead by example, because only if you do it first can your inner peace be perceived by others. Only then were they likely to pro-actively ask and learn your thinking patterns. So, in life, you don’t even have to scold others when practicing this thought system, “If you take the world as real, you will not perform true forgiveness and you will be unlucky”. Because such accusations mean you have taken the person in front of you as real and convicted him with mean intimidation. This is the end of this part.
Chong Weiqiang
September 2017